Medical advancements and technological developments have contributed to the longevity of human life, providing many with the opportunity to witness the unfolding life journey of their descendants. This is a cause of great joy and happiness for many people. However, this also poses challenges for both them and their families.
In New Zealand, as more elderly individuals live longer, the loss of memory has become increasingly prevalent. This loss leads to feelings of disorientation, fear, and even doubt about their God-given identity. A friend recently told me that she went to visit her husband, whose memory has declined significantly. He told her that if they were not related, he would have loved to marry her. This was humorous, and for her, it was romantic. This means that those who have cared for them understand that communicating with them is not easy. And so recognizing this reality is crucial for those who provide pastoral care to assist them in their ongoing spirituality. Each individual is unique and infinitely loved by God, and whether they are conscious of it or not, no one should rob them of their dignity.
Despite the challenges, a form of communication persists, although not in conventional ways. They comprehend the squeeze of hands, the touch of cheeks, and, in the case of a priest like myself, the singing of a soft hymn or an invitation to recite a prayer together. Often, family members are surprised to find that their loved ones can still recall prayers learned by rote since childhood. These prayers, imparted by strict nuns and brothers, remain a lasting aspect of their identity. Despite the loss of memories, health, physical beauty, and possibly wealth, the elderly have not lost their faith and the prayers embedded in their hearts. For them, memory is lost, but not faith and dignity.
Fr. Tien Cao
